These posts are often the hardest for me to write, and the most fulfilling. They require reflection, usually a decent dose of humility, thankfulness, JOY, frustration, and at times sadness.
Recently, Abi has been in a mega daddy phase. It is very different from the daddy phases of earlier times. If she is in the “daddy zone” there is absolutely no room for her momma. Oh goodness, here it goes…I get my feelings hurt! Can you believe it?! The thoughts of “Precious child, I choose (insert humility…I am so thankful I’m given that choice) to stay un-showered for longer than is desired, eat at strange times, sacrifice sleep, put (or try to put!) my needs on a back burner, and at times have great angst over “trying to do it right” (ahhh, yep another dose of humility) – and you’re actively choosing to snub me?!” constantly flood my mind when she is in this zone. But why?! (Yes, I do understand that she is only 2, but these feelings are unfortunately very real at times!) But, I’ve lately been convicted of how I will 1) love this child with everything in me for as long as I shall live. She is a beautiful treasure that I’ve been given the greatest honor of steering and shaping and 2)In a strange (very ridiculous and silly) way I want some sort of appreciation…I want to feel loved in return. Perhaps my motivations are not what they should be.
How many other relationships do I (on some level) do this in? Do I think of my input and expect some level of that returned to me? Why am I not joyfully giving simply because of the grace that I have been given.
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